Bilingual Therapist (Spanish/English)
Virtual, individual therapy for adults in Maryland.       

A parts-based perspective comes naturally to us. You might say, for example: “I’m torn about tonight! A part of me wants to go to the party, and a part of me wants to sit on the couch in my PJs and watch a movie.” Or, more relevant to the mental health context: “A part of me feels really angry that my partner didn’t show up to my work event, and a part of me understands that he’s really busy.” Or, “a part of me is often really extroverted and confident while another part of me is kind of quiet and shy; it depends on the situation.” Our personalities and psyches are multidimensional.  Multiplicity, says IFS, is our nature.

 

Our internal family or system is made up of 3 components, according to IFS: protector parts, exiled parts and Self energy.  Exiled parts are our most wounded or traumatized parts.  Our protectors work hard to keep these exiles hidden away in corners or our psyche so we aren’t affected by their deep, overwhelming pain on a daily basis.  Our Self energy is our innate, loving, non-judgmental witnessing presence that brings harmony and transformative qualities.  It’s the you that’s not a part.  It’s your pure essence, a boundless source of unconditional love that is always there.  It’s in you, outside of you, and everywhere around you. It is pure love.

 

IFS says this, simply and powerfully: there are no bad parts.  Rather than problems that need to be managed, fixed or nullified, mental health symptoms are well-intentioned parts using desperate strategies to seek emotional and physical safety.  Your self-harm part cuts as a last-resort option to release deep emotional pain.  Your distracted (ADHD) part helps you avoid a task that makes you feel inherently incompetent and not good enough.  Your fierce self-critic attacks you in a distressed attempt to convince yourself you in fact, smart enough.  Your people-pleasing part relentlessly puts others’ needs before yours to try to convince yourself once and for all that, indeed, you are loveable.  Your anxious part worries, stresses, overthinks and overanalyzes because it desperately craves some semblance of control, confidence and mastery.

 

All parts have good intentions.  However, many of their actions bring unintended, damaging outcomes (aka your suffering).  Our self-critic part leads to depressive feelings, our distracted ADHD parts cause us to fall behind on deadlines, our people-pleasing part leads to people taking advantage of us which causes us to feel confused and shameful, our worrier parts won’t let us be present and enjoy the moment.  They all yearn for our loving attention and connection to what IFS calls our Self energy.

 

In our sessions together, I will guide you in identifying your protective parts, respectfully getting to know them, understanding their role protective functions, recognizing and validating their good intentions and valiant efforts.  I will also support you in patiently (but persistently) requesting permission from your protective parts to grant permission to contact your exiled parts with the offer of loving connection to you.  We will accompany your exiled parts until they feel wholly seen, heard and supported.  Finally, we offer them a gorgeous, healing release of the burdens they carry.

 

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